That was a pre-emptive “sh!” Now, I have a whole bag of “sh!” with your name on it.

So last Thursday through this past Monday, I took the fantastic Megabus ($9 down, $13 back!) to NYC to catch up with my best friends, D & L in Manhattan and E in Brooklyn. I was especially glad to see E because she and her hubby are moving to LA this June (for his job). Apparently they were at the tail end of finally buying a condo when this offer came in. What a difficult decision that must have been. (Really, no sarcasm!) Personally I don't think I could ever live in LA, and I really love Brooklyn (at least the part they live in!) but on the other hand, we'd all just been through a pretty brutal winter, so that memory was still pretty fresh.

We really didn't do anything taxing (although I am counting all those stairs in the back of my mind...jesus, didn't I used to live in Tokyo?! What happened?) or pricey, mostly just hanging out, relaxing and eating/drinking (mostly at home). I also knocked out Carrie Fisher's autobiography, Wishful Drinking, in my downtime (L's copy I plucked off his shelf). It's something you could easily read in a single sitting, a nice light read, despite being about her struggle with addiction (haha, I accidentally left out the "c" at first, which would have been a far duller book) and being bipolar.



Anyway, I completely forgot she was married to Paul Simon for so long! And I never knew certain songs were about her (She Moves On) or at least heavily referenced her (Hearts and Bones, Graceland, Allergies, in fact a lot of the whole Graceland album). Anyway, it was an interesting read. (And she also turned it into a one-woman show.)

I also commented on L's copy of Alex & Me, which I really love. The first thing he said was the first thing that always comes to my mind when I hear about Alex--how absolutely gutting his last words to Dr. Pepperberg were. Man, I don't think I could read that book again. But I wouldn't mind owning it, just in case...

So I also mentioned Peter Gethers' The Cat Who Went to Paris. The first one is probably the best, but it's part of a trilogy. I own all three but if you want to talk about impossible-to-read-without-crying books, that third one is a bitch. Because despite the title of the third book and probably needless to say, Norton doesn't live forever (at least not literally). And I don't know if purebreeds have a shorter lifespan, but it wouldn't surprise me, and Norton I believe was 11 or so? I could be wrong. Anyway, LONG story short, L had never heard of these books. His birthday is just around the corner, so a copy is already on the way!

We mostly ate at home, delicious home cooked meals and lots of red wine, followed by trying to top each other with the worst things we've seen on the internet or really inappropriate jokes. There is one website I simply cannot bring myself to post here. It is not quite as bad as "Two Girls One Cup" infamy, but it definitely belongs in that category. This was also just incredible:



And I learned that Manhattan public access TV shows hardcore porn after midnight! I had no idea who Robin Byrd was, but oh I do now. And apparently before Comcast came to town, there were no restrictions whatsoever! (Now they can't show actual penetration (though apparently this does not mean you can't show fucking), nor can they show, um, you know. The finale, shall we say.) But holy crap!

But most of the time, it's just the Robin Byrd show from the late 80s, early 90s, and I swear to god this is filmed in someone's garage or something. And porn stars come on and do a little show and then all get interviewed at the end. Time (or more likely drugs and alcohol) has not been kind to this woman and she is slightly spazzy, to say the least. (There's nothing explicit in the video, it's just a train wreck.)



I love how she never actually explains wtf a "dental dam" is. Not that I wanted her to show us, on the other hand.

So I mostly just relaxed in NYC, but I also got to try on my bridesmaid dress for next June for D & L's wedding in D.C., and it was not horrible at all! It is also a forgiving thing, though I still plan on weighing less by that time, something in which bar review will no doubt play a large role. It is a black dress and I get a purple rose. I also have to give a speech. Yay. And my dress has pockets for my flask. Just kidding. Sort of.

And Sunday was spent in Brooklyn at a giant flea market (neat stuff but really pricey!) with brunch beforehand. Btw, guava mimosas? A VERY GOOD IDEA. And we wrapped up at Beer Table, which I think I've mentioned before. The guy who owns it is from Carrollton, TX, and they have yummy beers and snackies. We went through two bowls of "roasted almonds with cocoa nibs" nom nom nom.

Being back sucks. It means I have to get back to work now. :(